The Silver Songbird
by Daisy3D
Summary: No one really knows much about Katniss Everdeen. After an abrupt departure at the age of eleven, she had returned to Panem in the ninth grade, and the first thing peers noticed was that she no longer spoke. Even though everyone was just now catching onto her presence, she had caught the attention of Peeta Mellark long before her return.
1. Shh

**Disclaimer** : I do not own _The Hunger Games_ , or any of it's characters.

 **Disclaimer 2** : I do not own the lyrics or songs used in this chapter.

 **Trigger Warning** : Mentions of anxiety, panic/anxiety attacks, death, depression, and suicide. ¡Dark themes ahead¡

 **Chapter One** : _Shh_

 ** _Peeta_**

Her name was Katniss Everdeen.

She had the darkest black hair, and the most silvery gray eyes. She was small, and thin, but healthy and athletic. She had a beautiful olive complexion, and was the captain of the archery club, as well as the leader of our track and field team. The only hint of makeup on her is the beautiful metallic silver lipstick she's worn every day since freshman year. She was also set to be our valedictorian, and rumor had it that she had a full scholarship to Stanford just waiting for her.

Katniss Everdeen was perfect.

Well, to me she is. Others think of her as. . . something un-fixable. But I don't think so. I could never think so. So what if she didn't talk? That doesn't matter the slightest, as she's still a spectacular human being.

I've never actually spoken to her-but I've noticed her. She lived here in Panem when she was younger, up until the time she was eleven-years-old. . . and then her father passed away after a bad construction accident. She had disappeared then. Gone without a word. Simply withdrawn from school and never to be heard of again.

That is until freshman year.

Word had gotten around that that a new girl was in town and that she would be a freshman. But the one detail about her that spread like wildfire was that she was _hot_. Little did anyone know it was _her_.

It wasn't until the first day of the actual school year that people learned the one and only 'important detail there was to know' about her; she didn't speak.

People had figured it out soon enough, when many guys, and some girls, attempted to strike up conversations with the hot new girl. At first, she would just bite her silver lips and either nod, shake her head, or shrug in response to them. They thought she was just being difficult, but their attempts eventually led to multiple panic attacks. The teachers were eventually forced to inform everyone that she was mute.

Katniss isn't mute due to any medical complications, but is a selective.

And then the talk started from those in her choir class, " _She sings! And she's actually good! The best!_ " People had begun to question her mutism, but teachers once again clarified that it was a selective. She didn't feel comfortable communicating with people through her words, but the reason she had turned mute was because the loss of her father. And singing reminded her of him, so she continued the practice.

She had returned to Panem when her mother committed suicide and she moved in with her grandparents. It wasn't much later (this summer) when Katniss' sweet little sister followed suit.

Katniss' last chord had finally strung then, and she had noticeably become more distant. At least for those who looked for it. I anonymously sent her a basket of primroses and my special cheese buns each respectively to her home after Primrose's death, and even attended the young girl's funeral.

My attraction to Katniss hadn't started in freshman year though. In fact, it began on our very first day of school, when she was five, and I just four. She was in my homeroom, and when we had music class, she had volunteered to sing the Valley Song. Her voice was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard, and I'd fallen head over heels for her then and there.

It was now the very first day of my final school year, and I sat in my old truck with my hands on the wheel, deciding that this was finally the year I would work up the courage to talk to her. As the engine roared, I took my car out of park and began my drive to Panem High.

* * *

As I got out of my car, I looked around and spotted her instantly. She wore a pretty-but very uncommon-dress. It was a simple dark blue thing lined with black that went down to her knees. Above it, she wore a simple black cardigan, with matching black flats. Her hair was also uncharacteristically out of its braid, and trailed behind her in waves along the soft refreshing breeze. Her familiar silver cup in her left hand. The one other thing that was there, as it had always been, was her trademark metallic glittery silver lipstick that brought out her eyes so beautifully.

"Looking good, Everdeen!"

"I can make you talk again, just give me one night!. . . In bed!"

"Get all dolled up for me?"

My blood boils upon hearing the ridiculous boys' comments. It amazes me how she can ignore them so well. . . besides the finger that she gives them as she walks into the school building. A small smile spreads across my lips before my ears register Delly's screeching.

"Peeta!" she yells as her small yellow heels click on the pavement of the parking lot. "Aren't you just so excited!"

Opening my arms to engulf her in a hug, I nod. "Of course. I'm ready to be done with this already."

"Who isn't?" I let go of her and she begins smoothing her hands over her tan dress dotted with tiny yellow flowers. "But we know we're gonna miss it when it's over."

I laugh and begin to make my way into the building, "I'm not too sure about that."

She gives me a pointed look before placing a hand on my shoulder and proceeding to walk alongside me, "Whatever you say, Peet. What's your first period again?"

"How many times do I have to remind you that we don't have any classes together this year?" I ask, laughing as I open the door for us to enter the building. "We're at two completely different academic levels, and aren't really interested in the same things."

She walks in and waits for me to join her before continuing to walk, "I know I just miss having classes with my best friend." She pouts before her face erupts into a giant grin, "Thom!"

"Careful!" I yell after her as she runs to her boyfriend of four months. He'd asked her out a month before junior prom and it's been a 'fairytale' ever since. At least that's what she describes it as. Chuckling, I decide to grab the pencil and notebook I'd placed in my locker on the day we got our schedules.

My breath catches in my throat as I see her puzzling over how to open her locker, her silver cup in one hand and a piece of paper in the other.

"Here, I'll hold your cup." I offer as I approach her locker, which is thankfully right beside mine. She glances up at me suspiciously, eyeing me as if I was going to try something as all other boys in our school do around her. "I just want to help you." Pursing her lips, she cautiously hands me her cup with a nod.

I turn to my own to the right of hers and begin to put in my combination. I'd already memorized mine when I found it on schedule pick up day. I place her cup in my locker as I place the pencil in my pocket and take out my notebook, tucking it in my arm. I retrieve her cup before shutting my locker once more.

Katniss places her bag on the hook given and takes a couple of things out before shutting her own. I'm about to hand her back her cup when she seems to consider something before pulling out a marker and beginning to write on the small dry erase board she carries everywhere. She then turns it towards me, " _Thank you, Peeta._ " It reads.

I forget how to breathe when I see that she knows my name. I realize my mouth is gaping open and turn it into a smile. "You're welcome, Katniss." Now it's her turn to be shocked as she looks up at me in confusion before proceeding to wipe the board clean. I hand her back her cup.

"What's your first period?" I ask suddenly. She jumps at my words before pressing her lips together, perhaps to remind me that she doesn't speak. But I already know. "Mine's cooking."

Her eyes show recognition before motioning to herself and nodding. "You too?" She nods again. I smile. "I didn't know you took that class, is this your first year?" I ask stupidly.

Katniss appears startled at my words. _Damn_ _it_ , I probably just creeped her out " _I didn't know you took that class"_ that makes me sound like a creep. She quietly nods before jerking her head to the side, motioning to the door nearest to us with a questioning look. What does she mean?

She shyly hands her cup over to me once again. I take it without hesitation and watch as she begins to scribble on the whiteboard again. Her neat cursive reads, " _Yes, it's my first year. Where exactly is the class?_ " I nod.

"It's my third year, I'll take you." I say. She appears slightly relieved as she wipes her board clean. Once she's done and puts away the marker she reaches for her cup. "I can hold it. Plus, I talk quite a bit, maybe you'll need to keep on writing a little while longer."

Katniss' face flushes and she looks away. A smile breaks out on my face, I've made her blush. Once she faces me again, she motions forward and I grab her wrist to ensure I don't lose her as we weave through the many students of our school.

Once we reach the class, I let go and motion to the door. "We're here." She nods and enters the classroom. Ms. Lavinia greets everyone and smiles upon seeing me.

"Peeta, darling!" she says, motioning me to come closer. "Oh, I swear you grow a foot every summer."

Chuckling, I briefly hug my favorite teacher. "Only you, Ms. Lavinia. How was your summer?"

"Just wonderful." she says before nodding to the stations. "Seniors pick their own seats this year, choose wisely, dear."

I smile and look at all of my options carefully before my eyes land on my favorite spot in the middle of the classroom. "Thank you, I won't be too bad this year."

"Never! You're always an angel." she says.

Quickly walking to the station, I take a seat. It's meant for two people and I begin to watch the door for people to sit by me before Katniss comes into mind. I look around and see her seated at a station in the corner on her phone. I place my notebook down and make my way to her.

Planting myself in front of her, I smile. She looks up at me startled, a questioning look on her face. "Come sit next to me. I don't know anyone very well in this class, and I want you to have a good partner."

Katniss scowls at me before looking over to my seat. She purses her lips before looking over everyone in the class. She looks up at me and furrows her eyebrows. "Come on, I want you to sit with me." Her cheeks flush a deep red before she eventually stands up and makes her way over to my table. I smile and jog up to her, taking my seat.

I pull out my own phone and begin to scroll through a couple messages before an idea comes to mind. I swiftly place my phone in front of her before swiping her own out of her hands. She shrieks as she sharply turns to me, an irritated look on her face.

Her little pout makes me want to kiss her, "I just want to add my number. So you can text me. If you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you did the same?" Her cheeks redden once again and she crosses her arms over her chest, an angry look etched across her beautiful features.

I quickly type my number into her contacts and take a quick selfie to put as my image. An amused scoff escapes on her side at that and I look over to see her trying to suppress a smirk. "You done?" The expression leaves and she shakes her head defiantly. "Then I guess you won't be getting this back."

The anger begins to return and she takes my phone and hurriedly begins to enter her number. Once she's done, she hands me the phone and holds her hand out for me to return her own. But I just smile and begin to type a message and send it to her phone. When it doesn't signify that I sent a message, I let out a hard laugh.

Turning to her, I see her bright red face as she looks down. "Clever. I'm guessing you've done this before, but I'm the first with a brain?"

She looks up sharply and her blush is still very prominent as she shrugs. I instead call my number on her phone and answer quickly on my own before hanging up. I hand over her phone once again and save the number into my phone. Katniss scoffs and decides to ignore me, but one more thing pops into my head.

Opening my camera app, I position it on her face before calling her name. When she turns, I snap a picture quickly and chuckle at my victory. She shoves me quite strongly and I look at her in surprise, but she just turns away from me once again, her face red in anger. I smile at her once again before turning to my phone.

My breath catches upon seeing the beautiful picture of her. Her eyes look impossibly silver, and her lips shine perfectly in unison with them. Her cheeks are a deep pink and her face has the most beautiful expression. I quickly go to make it her contact image before she catches me.

Just then, the bell rings, signifying tardiness and that the announcements were soon to come. "Alright children! Turn off your phones, the announcements will begin soon!"

I turn my phone off and put it into my pocket and watch as Katniss does the same. I have a feeling that this will be one of my favorite classes.

Pulling out my schedule, I set it on the desk top and turn to Katniss, "Do we have any other classes together?"

She pulls out her own and compares them before pointing to three other classes, creative writing, AP Spanish, and symphonic chorus. Her finger freezes on the last one. She points more prominently towards it before pointing to me. I blush and nervously run my hand through my hair.

"Yeah, uh, this is my first year. I don't sing much, but I guess Mrs. Barton liked my voice." I trail. The only reason I joined was to hear Katniss' voice again, I just know it's gotten more beautiful. To my surprise she actually somewhat smiles and awkwardly holds up a thumbs up. I chuckle, "Thank you, Katniss."

I sit back and try to hold in my giddiness. We've never had more than two classes together, and now four? I have a feeling I'm going to really like this school year.

A beep sounds from the loudspeakers, telling us that the announcements are starting and we turn away, readying ourselves for the long speech principal Snow will be sure to make.

* * *

I'm rushing through the halls, trying to get to class as quickly as possible to see Katniss again. We don't have second period together, but we have third as it is creative writing. And then AP Spanish after that, before our last period, seventh, symphonic choir. I'm so determined to get there that I nearly miss my friends' calls.

"Peeta!"

"Where ya going hot stuff?"

"Got somewhere to be?"

"Hey, stop!

" _Peeta_!"

Skidding to a stop, I turn to find Cato, Glimmer, Marvel, Delly, and Clove making their way towards me. "Sorry guys."

"Finally," Clove says, rolling her eyes. "We've been chasing you since you left Lavinia."

I chuckle nervously, "Sorry. You know how Ms. Trinket feels about being on time, and I'm off to her class next."

"Ooh." Marvel says, gritting his teeth, "Good luck with that, Peet. I hear she's really cranky this year."

Nodding, I begin to tap my foot on the ground, "Yeah, well, I should get going before she lectures my ear off."

My friends laugh before saying their goodbyes and I speed off to Ms. Trinket's creative writing class. When I enter, I find Katniss seated in the two-person desk nearest Ms. Trinket. Smiling, I make my way over to her and sit down right next to her.

Katniss jumps with a start before looking at me, a look of relief on her face once she realizes it's not a _complete_ asshole. Grabbing her dry erase board, she pulls out her black marker and begins to write. Once she's done, I read her message, " _Before the bell. Nice. Ms. Trinket would have eaten you alive._ "

Laughing, I wipe the message off for her. "I'm not afraid of Effie." I say proudly, but Katniss gives me a face that says, " _Oh really?_ " and I roll my eyes. "Okay, fine. Who _isn't_ at least a little bit afraid of her?"

She turns away without another word.

As soon as the bell rings, Ms. Trinket zips inside. "Well, hello everyone! I hope our first day of school has been a pleasant one so far!"

After a few murmurs she claps her hands excitedly. "You're the first class to respond to me today! Now, since it's our first day, I want us to get to know each other better. So for our first activity, I want you guys to answer in your notebooks each question that I show on my PowerPoint. Now go get your notebooks from the cabinet marked 3rd."

Everyone does as we're told, and only a few people who neglected to bring notebooks have to use notebook paper. Ms. Trinket gives us time to get ready and write in our table of contents before she begins with the slides.

 **Question One** : What is your favorite color?

 _Sunset orange_ , I scribble down in my notebook. She gives us a couple more seconds before going to the next slide.

 **Question Two** : What is your favorite season?

 _Autumn._

 **Question Three** : When is your birthday?

 _September Twenty-Fourth._

 **Question Four** : Who is your hero?

. . . A pang of hurt rings throughout my body. I decide to leave that one blank.

 **Question Five** : What are your three favorite things to do?

 _Paint, bake, and spend time with my friends._

 **Question Six** : Who is/are your favorite person/people in the world?

 _Delly Cartwright._

 **Question Seven** : Who do you love most in the world?

. . . I want to leave this one blank as well, but then again I don't, so I scribble _Delly Cartwright_ on there once again.

 **Question Eight** : Where is your favorite place to be?

 _My family's bakery._

The slideshow ends and Ms. Trinket pops up out of her seat. "I'm going to be writing my own notebook alongside you all, so I'm just going to read off my own answers before you and the person beside you can switch.

Upon hearing Katniss gasp beside me, I turn to face her and see her struggling to breath. "Hey, hey. It's okay. Just breathe in and out with me, okay?" I whisper, she nods quickly before I begin, "In. . . Out. In. . . Out. In. . . Out." I repeat this softly until Katniss calms down.

Effie has finished reading now and tells us to begin sharing, but Katniss is hesitant. "What's wrong?"

Her silver eyes bore into me as a worried look dominates her features before she turns to her dry erase board and begins to write, " _I don't like sharing personal information._ "

I nod my head, "That's okay. . . you can still read mine if you'd like." Katniss presses her lips together before I hand her my notebook. She hesitantly begins to read. A small smile forms at first, but is then replaced by a look of confusion. When she's finished I ask her what she thought. And when she points to something, I think it's going to be question three but am surprised to see her finger resting right on Delly's name.

"Delly's my best friend. Almost my sister, really." I say nonchalantly. "She's really nice, I've known her since before we could talk." Katniss then seems to decide something as she looks at my notebook, before reaching over and grabbing her own, placing it in my hands and motioning for me to read. I smile softly at her before proceeding to do so.

 **One** : _Green._

 **Two** : _Spring._

 **Three** : _May 8th._

 **Four** : _Father._

 **Five** : _Archery, run, sing._

 **Six** : _Gale._

 **Seven** : _Gale._

 **Eight** : _Woods._

I smile at her bluntness, but my heart sinks upon seeing Gale's name. How could I have forgotten Mr. tall, dark, and handsome who was two years old than us and always used to be by her side when he attended.

She must sense my discomfort because she takes the notebook from me suddenly and begins to scan her answers in worry. Had she misspelled a word? Written something incorrectly? No, she simply mentioned the man I stood no chance against.

Gale Hawthorne was two years older, and had graduated Panem High two years before as the valedictorian himself. Gale went off somewhere to college, but he always comes to visit during the summer. It's why I sent my gifts anonymously and didn't speak to her at the funeral, he guards her as if she were the Queen. In his eyes, she probably was.

A light tap on my shoulder pulls me back, and her notebook lay on the desk. She points at it and then gestures to me, a questioning look on her face. I contemplate asking, but my curiosity on how she sees him gets the best of me, "Gale?"

Her face lights up and she pulls out her marker and begins to write on the dry erase board. When she's done, she slides it in front of me, " _Gale's my best friend. I met him during freshman year. He's in college now, though._ "

I nod, "Yeah, I think I remember him. Valedictorian of his year, right?" She blinks a couple times before nodding slightly.

"Alright! I hope you guys have had enough time to share, now. . ."

* * *

As I see her walking to the choir room, I go to walk next to her. She nods in greeting once she notices it's me before falling into step beside her. I look her over and see that she has a relaxed look about her face. Then I notice something missing. Her cup.

I remember that she hasn't had it with her since first, "Where's your cup?" She's openly confused before she looks nervous. I'm about to ask what's wrong, but her face turns into an indifferent mask and she points to the lockers that line the hall. "You put it in your locker?" She nods before bowing her head and rushing forward.

Ever since her first day of freshman year, Katniss has carried a silver cup in the mornings. No one knows what's in it, but she's never gone a day without it. Some joke and say it's alcohol, but everyone knows that's ultimately not true. Others say it's 'what makes her not speak', those people are stupid.

As we approach the choir room, I begin to feel excited. I mean, I know we're not going to sing as it's the first day, but the thought of it is enough to make me beyond happy.

Upon entering, I see that there are only a small amount of people. The symphonic choir is the smallest of three choirs Panem High gives, the others being concert and women's. Symphonic consists of nine select people with different styles of voices, though only sophomores-seniors can be in. There are six people in the room when we get there, including Madge Undersee, one of the only people Katniss associates with. She sits beside her, and I sit next to her.

When the last person enters, my mouth falls open, "Cato?"

His head shoots up at the recognition and his face immediately begins to turn a deep red, "Mellark? What are you doing here?"

"I'm, uh, part of the symphonic choir this year," I say, still stunned upon seeing his arrival, "I didn't know you sang."

Cato rolls his eyes and makes his way over to me, sitting in the empty seat beside me. "No, you idiot. I'm the beatboxer."

"Really?" Madge pipes up. We look over to her and she looks at Cato with a look of amusement. "That's not the complete truth, now is it?"

I have to suppress my smile as I turn to face Cato, "What's that mean?"

"Now you talk, blondie? So quiet, I sometimes thought you were mute like Miss Everdeen," Cato says looking at a fuming Katniss. I punch his arm and he turns to me, annoyed. "And, I sometimes sing bass."

Shaking my head, I turn to face the teacher as the bell rings. Mrs. Barton, the all-around choir teacher, stands from her seat at the piano which sits in front of the white board. "Hello, my symphonic choir! I'm so glad to see most of you have returned! But, there are some new faces as well!"

I look around and see that most of them are looking at me and two others who appear to be sophomores. Well, now I know who else is new here with me.

"Okay, so, today I'd like us to familiarize ourselves and our vocals with those of everyone else in the group." Our teacher begins, and I can feel a slight tension arise between all of the students. "So after our warmups, we will all sing a small piece of music I think fits each of your voices evenly, let's begin!"

After doing a series of rather odd warmups, Mrs. Barton takes out a cream colored folder labeled 'Symphonic Choir' and begins to take out a stack of various sheets of music, each with a students name on them. She passes them out to each designated student.

Upon seeing mine, I quirk an eyebrow. It was a very modern and new song, and I'd heard it around multiple times. I look around and see others inspecting our teacher's choice of song for themselves, most looking pleased. I read over the highlighted verse I'm supposed to sing.

Mrs. Barton claps her hands suddenly and we all look up to face her, "The order in which people will sing will be completely up to you all. We will start with volunteers, and then I will begin to pick when you stop."

The first six to volunteer are all fairly well, with Madge surprising me the most with her gentle yet beautiful voice on a rendition of Tori Kelly's, _Hollow_. It's down to Cato, Katniss, and I when the volunteering ceases.

"Hmm. . . Cato! You're next!" our teacher announces before looking to me. "We'll save my little birdie for last, you're after Cato, Mr. Mellark." I nod nervously before shooting a victorious look towards Cato for not having to go before him.

Cato ends up having a pretty good voice, and I purposefully clap obnoxiously loud and whistle when he's finished, which earns me a discreet finger. "Okay, Mr. Mellark, you're next." I hear from my teacher. I take in a deep breath before looking down at my music and beginning to sing the song she'd given me.

The room is silent before Cato begins to cheer even more obnoxiously than I did and I punch his arm lightly. "I knew you'd be a wonderful addition," compliments Mrs. Barton, and I give her a kind smile in return. "Now you, birdie." She says to Katniss.

Katniss presses her lips together slightly before flipping to a highlighted page, with a deep breath, she begins her beautiful melody,

 _"I remember tears streaming down your face_

 _When I said, 'I'll never let you go.'_

 _When all those shadows almost killed your light._

 _I remember you said, 'Don't leave me here alone.'_

 _But all that's dead and gone and passed, tonight. . ._

 _Just close your eyes,_

 _The sun is going down._

 _You'll be alright,_

 _No one can hurt you now._

 _Come morning light,_

 _You and I'll be safe and sound._

 _Don't you dare look out your window, darling,_

 _Everything's on fire._

 _The war outside our door keeps raging on. . ._

 _Hold on, to this, lullaby._

 _Even when the music's gone,_

 _Gone. . ._

 _Just close your eyes,_

 _The sun is going down._

 _You'll be alright,_

 _No one can hurt you now._

 _Come morning light,_

 _You and I'll be safe and sound."_

This time, the class erupts into honest and awed claps and cheers, but no one expects her to flee from the room. Gone in a flash. I begin to make my way out of the room in search of her, but our teacher stops me.

"That's her and Primrose's song, give her some air," she says softly, "She sings it every year, but we can both understand why it's especially hard this time around."

I stare at her, feeling utterly helpless. I want to go comfort Katniss, but I know that she'll push me away. Especially since it regards her little sister. "Okay."

* * *

Katniss doesn't return for the rest of class, and I don't see her at the end of the day either, so I suppose that she went home early. I felt empty after she left. The class, and atmosphere in general, didn't feel the same after the abrupt departure of Mrs. Barton's star pupil.

And she was all I could think about now.

On my way home, I picked up another basket of primroses from the florist and leave it at her doorstep. And a note, though still anonymous, attached with a batch of cheese buns.

The rest of my day consists of alternating between reality and thinking of Katniss, my final thought of the night hoping that she wouldn't close herself off to the world tomorrow.

* * *

 **A/N** ~ _This chapter, and story in general, went through a lot before I deemed it suitable for posting and I really hope you guys enjoyed it!_

 _I decided to post this new story in dedication of my readers who are being patient while I fix and retrieve my old files for my previously uploaded stories. I have not given up on them, and currently wrote this on a different device. Oh, and this story will be updated weekly unless I get impatient or something comes up. I'm uploading a little earlier than intended because I'm heading off to visit family in New Jersey, but Saturday's will be the days you guys should keep a lookout for updates._

 _Also, do you guys want to try and beat me at The Hunger Games quizzes? Join my new favorite app, QuizUp, and follow me by searching "Daisy #ILA" I accept all challenges and have found it to be the best app for quizzes. Just thought I'd share the fun with you all!_

With love, Daisy

 **Written** : _December 20th, 2015_

 **Published** : _July 21st, 2016_


	2. Speak Wisely

**Disclaimer** : I do not own _The Hunger Games_.

 **Trigger Warnings** : Mentions of death, suicide, & suicidal thoughts.

 **Chapter Two** : _Speak Wisely_

 _ **Katniss**_

Looking intensely into the mirror of my bathroom, I try to find what people see in me. I stare at my olive face; the light makeup, dull gray eyes, and finally, ridiculous gray lips. _Nothing_.

I'm a stupid, disgusting, useless girl. A girl who has no one left in this world that gives a damn about her, and who has no one left that she loves. Everything was taken from me slowly. Painfully, but surely.

First, it was my father when I was eleven-years-old. Then my mother when I was fourteen-years-old. And finally my sweet little sister just months ago. . .

Smiling bitterly, I turn away. It was almost as if they'd planned it. Every three years, something precious was taken away from me. _Not anymore_ , I declared. _Because I will never give anyone else the power to hurt me again_.

Entering my room, I go straight to the full-length mirror and examine my outfit. My eyes take in the unusually girly clothing. _This is for you, Primrose_ , I think, recalling a section in the note she'd left me. " _Be a little more girly for me, Katniss. You're so much like a boy, the only reason I don't confuse you for one is because of your pretty looks!_ " Read her words.

Suddenly, I'm overcome with another wave of grief and I force myself to sit down in place as the now all too familiar darkness threatens to overtake me. _You can do this, Katniss. Do it for Prim._

"Katniss!" I hear my grandmother yell, "If you're walking to school, you better do it now. I have your drink ready. Hurry honey!"

The truth was, my grandmother wanted nothing to do with me until _after_ Primrose died, when she needed a piece of her only child to hold on to. She had disowned my mother when she decided to marry someone whom my grandparents didn't approve of. And then when my mother died, and Primrose and I came to live here, they so obviously favored Primrose because of her looks and bubbly personality.

I was more of a burden, as I was more difficult for them. When Primrose died, they became very obsessive over me. Monitoring me much more than before, so much so that I feel trapped in my own skin.

As I enter the kitchen with my plain black tote bag in tow, my grandmother hands me my cup of drugs. She tried to hide it at first, claiming she just wanted to give me a 'healthy drink' every morning, but I'm not an idiot. I caught on quickly to the fact that she'd crushed up my medications that I refused to take and put their powdered form into smoothies for me to 'unknowingly' drink every morning.

Of course, my grandmother could never have been so smart as to think that up, my psychiatrist suggested it. And it worked. I enjoyed them, convincing myself that she did it because she cared, even if she didn't genuinely show it. Of course, I gave up on the idea, but I'd already been so used to the drinks, I decided to keep them.

After grabbing my cup, I exit the house the prison— _house_ without a second glance. I can feel her stare track me until I'm well out of sight, and it isn't until I reach the edge of the street that I release my breath.

The breeze feels delicious against my skin, but it was slightly stronger than normal. Thank goodness I decided to put my hair in my regular braid today.

I choose to walk to school every day because I want to feel the world around me. It was the simple and everyday things in life that I appreciated the most. Things such as birds singing, cars driving by, and people interacting. Those things were precious. Birds for me signify peace. Cars tell me that there were still intelligent people in this world. Real interactions told me that not everyone was as screwed up as I am. Those things keep me going.

Sipping my drink, I decide to try and guess today's ingredients, but only one thing stands out prominently; orange. My grandmother can be clever at times, and putting in my favorite fruit in the drink showed that. In her youth, she was a doctor, which is how my mother became a nurse. And that's why Primrose wanted—

I stop abruptly in my tracks and squeeze my eyes shut. _Primrose okay_ , I tell myself. _She's in a better place. . . with mom and dad_. _She's okay_. I try to squeeze my eyes even tighter, but that doesn't stop the tears from escaping.

At the sound of tires screeching to a halt beside me, my eyes shoot open and I begin to walk again, willing my tears to come to a halt. Turning to look at the car, I see that it's a truck. Wiping my tears away fiercely, I begin walking again, faster.

"Katniss!" the familiar voice calls.

Once again stopping in my tracks, I turn around and see the one and only golden boy, Peeta Mellark. I can't stop the scowl that forms on my lips. His car slowly moves up along the road until it's right beside me. "Get in, you'll be late. Not to mention its kind of illegal for me to stop in the middle of the road like this."

There's a joking tone in his voice, but I just blink, trying to comprehend why this boy has been trying so hard to garner my attention this year. He's never acknowledged me before.

As I see a car begin to turn onto this road, I mercifully decide to get in. After the phone predicament yesterday, I don't doubt for a second that he would refuse to leave without me.

Once I'm safely sitting in the passenger seat, he starts moving as soon as I put on my seatbelt. "You okay?"

I turn to face him and see him alternating between looking at me and the road. I just stare at him for a moment, trying to understand why he's so adamant about inserting himself into my life.

When we get to school, I unbuckle my seatbelt and hop out of the car immediately, trying to escape being seen. But of course, the odds have never been in my favor.

At the sound of their ridiculous catcalling, I give them my usual hand gesture before speeding into the building. _Disgusting assholes_. At the feel of a hand on my shoulder, I jerk it off and whip around, only to be met with a pair of captivating blue eyes.

"You just let them do that?" he asks stupidly. My mouth falls open at his words and I shake my head vigorously before pushing my way to my locker, dodging the occasional prying hands and ignoring the racy comments.

Upon reaching my locker, I put my cup down between my feet as I open it. How could anyone think I just let those idiots say those things to me? If it weren't for my record, they'd all have been in the hospital a _long_ time ago—

"I'm sorry," his voice rises above the sea of many others. I ignore him and open my locker, pulling out the things I won't need until later from my bag and placing them inside. He tries to speak to me again, but I just block him out. I'd mastered it over the years.

After putting my bag in my locker and locking it, I hold on tighter to my belongings and pick up my cup. Why did I sign up for cooking, damn it? But I know my answer immediately: Because I've done almost all that needs to be done in high school and mostly had a large assortment of electives to choose from.

When I arrive, I ponder over whether or not I should take my seat from yesterday. One look around all of the strangers is enough for me to begin to hyperventilate, so I guess that answers it. I drag myself over to my seat and pull out my phone immediately. I'm surprised to see a text.

 **Peeta** : _I didn't mean to upset you, Katniss. I really am sorry. It just… angers me to see them talk to you like that._ **(7:32AM)**

Taking in a deep breath, I decide whether or not to respond. I only ever text one person, and that's because he's impossibly far away. Besides that, we strictly interact in person. I decide not to.

When I first moved back to Panem, I had already been 'mute' for three years, and nothing was going to change that. I met Gale when on a trip to the woods. He'd thought I was being difficult at first, but I was able to explain to him with my marker and dry erase board, as I'm instructed to bring them everywhere I go.

It had turned out that Gale's father had died in the same exact construction accident that took my own father's life. Not only that, but we found that we had many things in common, and it wasn't too long after that when we begun sneaking off to the woods every day after school to hang out with each other. He was really smart, so he was able to help me out with a lot of things, and I was very thankful.

I purse my lips as I remember what he did the summer before he went off to college. My breathing begins to grow erratic, and I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing myself to try and take deep breaths. He was just being rash, it meant nothing, it still means nothing. . . it will always mean nothing.

"Hey. . ." a soothing voice breaks in as I hear someone, presumably _him_ , sit down next to me. "Just breathe, you're okay. You're safe."

Listening to his instruction, I will myself to take deep breaths. I'm breathing, I'm okay, I'm. . . mostly safe. I repeat my own variation of his words in my head.

Once I'm calm, I slowly open my eyes and immediately begin to focus my attention on my cup before grabbing it and beginning to take generous sips.

"Want to talk about it?" he asks softly. I turn to him in surprise and my brow furrows before I shake my head. "Well, I'm here. And you're stuck with me for four class periods a day, so if I were you, I'd try to get used to me."

I shake my head before pulling out my dry erase board and marker, " _Yeah, right. I'll just have to find ways to avoid you_."

He chuckles at my words and I shoot him an innocent smile. "Oh, Everdeen. I hope you know that Mellark's are hard to shake off." Rolling my eyes at his banter, my mind runs his words over and over in my head. Mellark's are hard to shake off. Why did I even let him in? I only ever interact with Madge, and even that's limited. . . why him? And then the memory resurfaces. . . but no, that was years ago. Before I left. It shouldn't be relevant now. We. . . we were kids.

About ten minutes after the announcements are over, Ms. Lavinia is already done explaining our first cooking project of the year. We have to cook something that is dear to our hearts. Today, though, we're only brainstorming and telling her the ingredients we'll be needing.

My forehead crinkles in thought. What could I make? My own grandmother doesn't trust me in the kitchen alone. I take my dry erase board and reluctantly write down a question for Peeta, " _What are you making?_ "

He smiles when he reads this, "Cheese buns. They're one of my favorites down at the bakery."

I audibly gulp as I remember the kind gifts that were given to me after my sisters passing, and oddly, yesterday too. My face begins to burn at the memory of the delicious treats from the kind anonymous stranger who I would never be able to repay. "What about you, Katniss?"

My heart jumps at the sound of my name from his lips, but I internally scold myself. I shrug in response to his question before feeling myself pout. Of all the electives I just had to choose this one. Even though I'm well aware that I risk burning down my kitchen every time I step foot in it. "Hey, you'll think of something."

The rest of the class turns out to be unsuccessful in trying to 'think of something', and I leave very angered in myself. Unsurprisingly, the golden boy notices. "You still have tonight and tomorrow."

I shoot him a glare before scampering off to my next class.

* * *

As I sit on the floor of an unoccupied storage closet, I try to level my breathing, to no avail. Instead, I try to recite the little mantra my therapist, Dr. Aurelius, had inspired me to create. _My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. My home is Panem. I'm currently in school. I'm so close to graduating. I, doing it all by myself. . . I'm all alone in this world. My family left me. It'd probably be best if I left too. . ._

"Sweetheart?"

At the sound of the nickname given to my by my school therapist, I feel myself take my first breath in quite a while. I gasp as I try to control my breathing once again.

The door opens and Haymitch comes over to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Breathe, sweetheart. In. . . Out. Just like I taught you. Let's go."

With the help of Haymitch, I stand and focus on regulating my breathing.

Ever since I returned to Panem, Haymitch Abernathy has been my mentor of sorts through everything that has happened. He helped me get adjusted to Panem High, and somewhat recover from my sister's death.

No one knew what to do with me when I came back. I was just a shell of a person that harbored no emotion. They tried to be understanding, but ultimately winded up getting fed up with me. It wasn't until I met Mr. Abernathy that I began to feel the tiniest bit of security. He was open and honest from the moment we sat down together, and was wiser than anyone I'd ever met.

And he's been the only one I've been willing to talk to about how I feel about it. He knows she was the only person I was certain I loved, he was very fond of her as well. Now he's the only person who could possibly care about me too.

Back when they first assigned him to me as a last resort because I was much more difficult than Primrose, he had taken me by surprise with his attitude and demeanor. Insisted I called him Haymitch because we were equal, and because he called me by my first name. And then eventually my nickname. It still took me a while to get completely comfortable with him.

He's the only person I've got now.

"That's right, sweetheart, nice and slow," he told me calmly. "You'll be okay."

I regain my focus on the real world, registering the hallways as well as curious passerby. Great. Only the second day of school and I've gone down both days.

As we enter the office, I began to relax slightly, we were almost at his personal office. The only place I could completely tear down my protective wall and accept my reality. My cruel, harsh reality.

When he opened the door I could feel my shoulders immediately begin to slump. It wasn't until the door shut with a click that I let my silent tears fall.

Haymitch sat in his chair, quiet until the last of my tears were long gone. "You want to go home?" I look up at him. Gray on gray, his eyes read mine without issue. "Your teacher sent me an email. Said you didn't show up."

I take a deep breath.

"You're not a burden, Katniss." He says. I break our gaze then. "You're not. Far from it. This school's lucky to have you, kid."

Staring at the floor, I wait for him to say more.

"Look at me," I do. "I know what you're thinking. And I don't appreciate it."

Tearing my gaze away, I look anywhere but at him. He can read me so well, I sometimes think he can literally hear my thoughts.

"We're a team, Katniss. I'll always be here for you." This I know. "I know you know that, and you're ditching me this summer, but you can believe I'll still keep contact."

Scoffing, I stand up. He's like a father to me, but right now I'm itching to get fresh air and not a lecture.

"I'm not here to lie to you."

My eyes burn and he knows he's got me.

 _Liar_. It was the first thing I ever wrote to him when he said he wasn't there to badger me into confiding my feelings. " _I'm not here to lie to you, sweetheart._ " Was his response.

That was when I began to trust him.

He knows this.

Sitting down once again, I look at him, eyes shining. "Ms. Trinket showed me your notebook."

Nodding slowly, I let my tears fall again. But then. . . what about my notebook?

"I also heard from more than one teacher that you have a new friend?"

My brows furrow in confusion at this, I don't. . . _Peeta_. Shaking my head, I feel a light blush flood to my cheeks.

"He's a good boy, high honors," Haymitch picks up a file I hadn't noticed sitting on his desk. "Has his own story."

I give him a questioning look, _his own story?_

"I talk to him every once in a while."

Haymitch only counsels as a last resort. . .

And that's how I learn that there's more to Peeta Mellark than meets the eye.

* * *

I can't stop staring at him.

Haymitch isn't allowed to talk about student's private affairs, so now I can't help but wonder.

He's always seemed so. . . grounded. After what happened I've kept track of him over the years. Know more than I realized when it comes down to it. He's the cleanest, most purest a person could possibly be. So happy. Well-liked. Smart. Outgoing. Kind—the list could go on forever. It irks me that there's something hidden deep within him that I can't see.

I'm an open book.

"Katniss?"

My braid slaps my back as I whip around and find my choral teacher's worried gaze on mine. My heart aches. She's right behind Haymitch when it comes to people who could potentially care about me. I give her a soft smile in response, and note the slight change in her mood. I've become very good at reading people. Well, everyone except for Peeta Mellark.

I focus my attention on the sheet in my hand holding our schedule for the year. Symphonic choir is always the busiest of the three groups. Primrose was so excited to see my acceptance letter before freshman year. I was the first freshman in the school's history to be accepted. She always loved to hear me sing. It broke her heart when I refused to do it for a while. One of the reasons I caved on continuing singing was because of her admiration for my voice.

The bell rings. Mrs. Barton bids us all goodbye, and I send her a smile.

I tread the halls quietly, keeping my eyes on Peeta, who is walking with Cato. They laugh heartily. My jaw clenches. Haymitch had to have been lying. I've seen the other people who Haymitch counsels, and they're all varying degrees of broken. Me being among the most damaged. Peeta. . . he just _can't_ belong.

When we reach our lockers, my moves are robotic as I get lost in my thoughts. It happens more often nowadays.

"Katniss?"

I jump, looking at the owner of the voice in great disapproval.

"Sorry," Peeta says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just wanted to know if you needed a ride home."

I shake my head before making my way to the doors.

Peeta Mellark. . . captain of the wrestling and baseball teams, soon-to-be owner of the Mellark Bakery, award-winning artist, contender for valedictorian, most popular and sought after boy at Panem High School. . . he's the poster boy for perfect.

"Oof," escapes past my lips as I run into the back of a tall, lanky guy.

When he turns, I'm met with the cold eyes of Marvel. "Everdeen."

I try to move around him, but he inevitably blocks me.

"I think you owe me an apology."

Looking into his eyes, though his face serious, I see amusement. My blood begins to boil.

"Come on, neither of us is gonna leave 'till I get one." He says tiredly. A giggle from a busty blonde behind him angers me even more.

Crossing my arms, I stand straighter in front of him, shrugging. Guess we're staying for the weekend.

"Get out of her way, Marvel."

We both turn to see Peeta giving him an annoyed look. I turn back around to see Marvel's annoyed stare. The blonde says something about him always ruining the fun and sending him a wink before they make their way out of the building.

Irritated, I pull my bag closer to me before making my own way out. I could've handled him on my own. I always have.

A warm hand lays on my shoulder. I shake it off. Not caring who it is. "Katniss?" But I can't seem to deny the owner of this voice.

Slowing, I look up at Peeta as he places himself next to me.

"I'm taking you home."

Shaking my head, I roll my eyes as I walk faster. I don't need his help. I don't need anyone's help. I've been doing just fine on my own the past six—

A jolt of electricity shoots up my arm at the feel of Peeta's hand wrapped around mine. He's pulls me back, and I try tugging it back.

"I'm taking you home." He says, reluctantly letting go of my hand. I catch myself when my fingers try to find their way back to his own full of warmth and comfort.

I just nod my head. Feeling the pleasure from his satisfied smile course through me like morphling. What is it about Peeta Mellark that I just can't resist? I let go what happened when we were kids years ago.

When we reach my house, I rush to unbuckle my seatbelt. If my grandmother sees me associating with other people, she's going to want to meet and obsess over them.

Quickly, I take out my whiteboard and scribble _thank you_ before exiting the car.

"You're always welcome." I hear, and look up to see him contemplating something. I try my best to hold the scowl that threatens to arise, but it does so anyway. And he sees it. I purse my lips before making my way into my house.

"Katniss!" My grandmother's voice echoes. "Who was that?"

I try to hurry up and go to my room—because it's an unspoken rule that no one can ever enter my room no matter what—but she beats me before I can reach my door.

"Not right now, missy. This is good! I can't wait to tell Dr. Aurelius about this! Why don't I just phone him right now—"

I go around her and speed off to my room, slamming the door shut firmly behind me and applying the lock. Everything, _everything_ I do is documented by my grandmother. She never tried before but now it's as if she actually cares, and I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of complying. There's nothing wrong with me. Why can't she just accept that?

Dr. Aurelius has told her just about every time I've been forced to go see him—it's the only thing I've even remotely agreed with.

 _She'll speak when she's ready._

* * *

 **A/N** ~ _From the moment this idea came to mind, I've been so excited to release it. I'm very happy with what's out so far, and am excited for you all to read more. My plan for this is to not exceed twenty chapters, but still leave you all very satisfied with the story, and especially the ending. It's going to start slow, of course, but just hang in there. I uploaded this much later in the day than intended but I couldn't stop reading it over and over in case I had to make any revisions,_ _haha! (:_

 _Be sure to check out my other work in the meantime!_

With love, Daisy

 **Posted** : _July 30th, 2016_


	3. Be Gentle

**Disclaimer** : I do not own _The Hunger Games_.

 _For those that have been waiting on this update, my deepest apologies for the wait. I got caught in some personal issues as well as impulsively rewriting some large chunks of this story because, as usual, I second guessed some of my writing. Exams are next week and re-reading and revising (again) this story has helped my anxieties. I can't believe how long this has been sitting in my documents. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter Three** : _Be Gentle_

 ** _Peeta_**

 ** _Mellark Household, Four Years Prior_**

Peeta along with Cato, Clove, and Marvel sat in his living room. Delly chattering on about the upcoming homecoming dance.

"I have a feeling I'm going to be asked soon, I just know it!" She declares.

"Asked to what?" The faux sickly sweet voice of my mother resonates from the now open door.

Delly's head perks up at hearing someone actually interested in the function. "The homecoming dance, Mrs. Mellark!"

"Really?" I can feel her eyes bore into the back of my head in that moment.

The blonde's head nods enthusiastically. "I think someone named Dalton is going to ask me. He's cute."

Marvel snickers. "Delly, everyone can admit you have the boobs. But he hangs around with _Katniss Everdeen_. Good luck."

Cato barks out a long hard laugh, and Clove bursts into a fit of giggles. My mother sends Marvel an icy glare that wipes the smirk off his face. Delly is basically her own.

"When's this dance?" The woman asks.

Delly gives her a look of disbelief. "Three weeks! He needs to ask now."

I turn to my mother, feeling the gears begin to grind in her head. I can tell by her expression that she's about to suggest something, but Clove beats her to the cake.

"When are you gonna ask Glimmer, Peeta?" Clove says distractedly. "She keeps complaining about the fact that she's rejected _tons_ of guys waiting for your proposal. You shouldn't be leading her on like that. She's liked you since like . . . last year."

My blood turns cold.

"Peeta Xavier Mellark?"

...

They had all gone home a few hours later. My mother had only asked me why I waited so long, and I'd simply replied with a shrug. The glare piercing through her icier blue gaze telling me it was over for the moment.

We'd spent all night brainstorming proposal ideas.

And that is how I now find myself waiting in a bouncy castle inside of our school's gymnasium. A giant _Bounce With Me To Homecoming?_ sign above the entrance, courtesy of my mother.

It had been a hard battle for my mother to get permission for this. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of money for a girl I only found remotely pretty.

I can hear voices outside around the castle from people who stayed after school to watch the proposal discussing my relationship with Glimmer—if only they knew it was nonexistent.

My teachers were supposed to distract her while I got ready with a grade scare, courtesy of our friends. My phone vibrated then. A signal. She's outside the—

"What?" I hear something clatter to the floor.

I bounce out of the entrance, a huge fake smile spread across my face. "So?"

The tackle of a lifetime greets me as she screeches _yes_. I barely have time to capture her in a hug, grateful for the bouncy house as we go down.

Cheers erupt around us.

* * *

I stare at the poster above the water fountains. We've only been at school two weeks and they're already advertising the homecoming dance.

My mother had of course believed the girl I'd been friends with for four years, so I'd been forced to go with Glimmer if I wanted to live. It had been the talk of the dance, and many people were outraged that we weren't eligible for homecoming king and queen.

Glimmer had expected a change in our relationship. I'd known it the moment I popped out of the bouncy castle. The way her eyes nearly popped out of her head. Her huge smile.

Taking a long drink, I make my way to my locker, greeting many people along the way. My eyes instinctively search for Katniss.

She's been acting much more reclusive this past week. I don't know if I came on too strong or what, but she's rarely communicated with me.

Every question, every joke, every conversation; no response. She just looks at me as if she's trying to figure me out. Reads into my words as if they hold a secret meaning. And though we'd only technically been friendly for a couple days before the rejection, it really stung.

The worst part is seeing her. She didn't change seats, so she's always close. Yet so far. Even when we're forced to be partners because we sit next to each other, she does her work on her own.

I have noticed though that she spends a lot of time looking at me when she thinks I'm not aware. But I'm always paying attention when it comes to her.

I see her combing through her bag and I take another shot. "Morning."

She jumps a little, turning to me with a slightly irritated look. I smile. Her eyebrows crinkle before she returns her attention to her bag.

"Did I do something?" She freezes, but I just couldn't help myself anymore. "I'm sorry if I did, if you want me to leave you alone I will."

Her gaze travels to the ground. It feels like an eternity before she shakes her head and walks away.

I heave a loud sigh, opting to distract myself by opening my locker.

"Peeta, baby," A snarky voice calls out.

Another sigh. Turning around, I find Clove making her way to me. "What now, garlic Clove?"

She wrinkles her nose. "Ouch. Watch it before I tell Cato."

"Like he'll do anything." I laugh.

She rolls her eyes. "I don't care. I'm here to ask you something."

Oh no. "Shoot."

"When are you asking Glimmer to homecoming?"

I hold back a groan. "What makes you think I'm asking her?"

"You took her freshman year." She says as if I'm stupid. "Marvel took me, and Cato ended up taking Delly. We're going with our freshman dates."

I scratch the back of my neck. My friends, more often than not, irritate me beyond compare. "That doesn't make any sense. You're dating Cato and Delly's dating Thom."

"It's fun. Come on, Peeta." She groans.

Shaking my head, I close my locker. "What if I don't want to go with Glimmer?"

She grabs my shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"I might want to go with someone else." As we approach my class, I'm hoping she'll leave so she's not late to her own, because she's very adamant about punctuation. Especially regarding school. But Clove is a very social person and she's willing to risk anything for some new gossip.

"You're joking." She follows me to my seat and spends a moment in her own thoughts. "Well she doesn't want to go with anyone else but you, and I promised, so you're taking her."

Without another word, she walks out.

I take my seat beside Katniss, my mood ruined for the day. Glimmer never gives up when it comes to getting something she wants. But I'm not giving in this time.

A light tap on my shoulder during a lecture about who knows what startles me.

I look over to find my first white board message in ten days. _What was that about?_

Her curiosity makes me cheer up some. "Glimmer."

The scowl that usually claims her pretty face intensifies. She takes back her board and writes down something else. _Why are you friends with her?_

I shake my head. "If I'd have known back then what a princess she'd become I'd have ran faster then Usain Bolt could ever dream."

The smallest hint of amusement teases her silver lips, but that turns out being the end of our conversation. I spent the rest of the period replaying every bit of it.

* * *

As I walk out to my car I'm ambushed by a hyperactive Delilah Cartwright. "Peeta!"

I'm going to lose my hearing from so much screeching one of these days. My heart goes out to Thom. "What's up, Del?"

"Did you hear the plan!" She squeals. "It's so cute and creative! Just imagine the throwback pictures!"

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "How does Thom feel about this?"

She goes silent. "I, um, I asked if he'd be willing to go with Leevy but that didn't turn out well. . . but he said it'd be okay."

"Really?" I ask. She's possibly the worst liar to ever live because she always says things with an almost overbearing amount of confidence and excitement. That sentence neglected to be full of either.

"Well, I didn't want to disappoint Clove—you know how she can get—but we're still talking it over." She says, her voice an octave or two lower than usual. There's something she's not telling me. "Well, you should really think about your proposal, it's gonna be hard to top freshman year." With a wink, she saunters off in search of her next conversation victim. There is not a soul Delly wouldn't talk to. Including a non-responsive Katniss Everdeen.

The past three years the only person I ever wanted to go with was Katniss. I'd dreamed of it as a kid. I hadn't gone sophomore or junior year. But I'd like to go my final year. I didn't even go to prom last year because not going was better than going without Katniss.

Taking her to homecoming this year invaded my thoughts for the rest of the day after my encounter with Clove. But Katniss isn't that type of girl, and I would chose her over any girl any day.

As I get into my old truck a thought comes to mind. What if I asked her anyway? She's been really reserved, but I could try to get her to open up more. I'd done it before. Maybe she'll at least consider it. It wouldn't be bad to try.

And that is how my determination to make Katniss Everdeen my homecoming date began.

At first I want to make a big gesture, but then I remember who I'm asking. But I still didn't want it to be too simple.

Looking at the time, I realize it's only six and decide to go to our mutual friend Madge's house.

I barely get past my mother before setting off down the street. Madge has been one of the only five people Katniss has ever willingly interacted with. The others being Annie Cresta, Gale Hawthorne, Dalton Calfsim, and, surprisingly, Johanna Mason. I know Annie because of my friend Finnick who graduated two years ago and Johanna as our best female wrestler in the school's history, though she graduated along with Finnick and Annie too. As for Gale, I used to watch him when I was younger to find out what he did to earn Katniss' friendship. And Dalton? Delly was quite fond of him when she was younger.

When I arrive, her father is very confused and I find myself very nervous. I hadn't been over since her mother said I'd be a good fit for her daughter. "Is Madge home?"

He's skeptical. "Yes, how come?"

"I've got some questions about an assignment in English." I reply coolly, though I'm fighting a blush.

"Alright." He disappears to get his daughter.

When Madge makes her entrance she doesn't try to hide her surprise. "The assignment isn't due for a while."

A weight lifts off my shoulders as I see she's decided to go along with my story. "I know, but I like to get my assignments done early."

"Ah," her father still stands nearby and she turns to him. "We're going to get some fresh air. The assignment is very complicated. I'll be back soon."

She exits alongside me without another word to her father.

"So, what?" She asks as soon as we've made it right outside of town. "This is your first appearance in, what, three years?"

She cuts me off before I can even begin an apology.

"And I'm taking a wild guess that it involves my good friend Katniss?"

I scratch the back of my neck. Madge has always been very smart and perceptive. "Yeah."

She smiles. "She hasn't been able to keep her eyes off of you the past week. And I saw you sneaking glances too . . . though yours have been cumulative since long before, right?"

I stare at her in confusion but she only shrugs. "Really?"

"Mhm, you really seem to have claimed her interest. Though she gets frustrated after looking at you a while. You did something, didn't you?"

This stops me short. "She stopped communicating with _me_." The words come off somewhat heated and I force myself to calm down.

Madge raises an eyebrow. "You shouldn't expect anything from her." She informs in annoyance. "It took her a while to get comfortable with _me_ , and I've known her since before she left. Either you leave her alone or learn to understand that. She's been through a lot."

I gape at her response. "I don't expect anything from her."

She nods. We're silent for a long time as we walk, her next words startling me. "How are things at home?"

I know her words run deeper than she lets on and I sigh. "She hasn't done anything recently. Besides dogging me about what I plan on doing after school, at least."

"I don't understand that woman," Madge says quietly. "You've certainly been more successful than Brandon and Ryan."

I force a small laugh. My eldest brother lives with his girlfriend and Ryan is debating dropping out in his second year of college. "I guess."

Another silence surrounds us. "So why'd you really come over?"

After such a deep conversation I almost don't want to ask, and my words come out a jumbled mess. "I wanted to hear your opinion on asking Katniss to homecoming?"

This stops her short. "What?"

I'm never this nervous, but Katniss truly brings out a whole other side to me. "Well—"

"That'd be a wonderful idea—if we were talking about someone _other_ than Katniss," Madge says jokingly.

I sigh. "You really don't think it'd be worth a shot?"

Madge blinks at me. "I'm not saying it isn't worth a shot, but it'd be a rather very, _very_ long shot."

I bury my face in my hands, unwilling to let her see the disappointment in my eyes. No one knows Katniss better than Madge. "I thought so."

She chuckles softly to herself and I'm almost offended. "You know, Gale tried so hard to get her to go to either homecoming or prom with him after he met her that she gave him a black eye when he pushed her too hard."

"What?!" The laughter that escapes me is almost painful. "I thought he got it when his little brother hit him in the eye with a baseball bat?"

She's very amused by my reaction. "Oh yeah, _definitely_."

After the moment dies down I find myself feeling more deflated than before. If Gale, her best friend, couldn't convince her to go, than I definitely had zero chance.

"Hey," she says, her voice void of pity. "She's been very interested in you the last couple weeks. If anyone were to have a shot, it'd be you."

The genuine hope in her voice causes me to capture her in a tight hug. Something I almost never do after the rejection from my mother. "Thank you."

She returns it hesitantly. "Anytime, just make sure she doesn't catch you giving anyone else hugs, your proposal might not seem as genuine."

I'm confused before I notice the speed walking girl trailed by a silky black braid and white knuckles that hold a grocery bag each.

The fear that courses through my veins at the thought of what could be going through her head right now almost causes me to chase after her before I realize that my actions would only serve to frighten her.

After giving Madge a proper goodbye I made it home in record time before the anxiety could become too much.

My feelings never made sense when it came to Katniss. But the thought of her thinking I had a thing for her closest friend made my insides churn.

Madge isn't much different from Katniss when it came to the way they carried themselves, or even their thought process. But a sweet spot for her when I was seven was all that had, and would ever happen. No one has made such an impression on me as the girl who refused to speak.

* * *

As much as I long to hear Katniss sing, nothing is worse than having to sit through a grueling forty minute lesson on everyone's vocal ranges and all the possibilities we have as a group.

It doesn't surprise me to find that Katniss has the widest range. I feel an odd sense of pride at that, and the glint in her eyes tells me she feels the same too.

Twenty minutes before the final bell, the phone rang. The class instantly turned chatty. I didn't join the conversations though. My mind was too preoccupied in the fact that Katniss had neglected to acknowledge my presence the entire day. I still don't understand why she's so upset—

"Peeta?"

My head immediately snapped to my teacher's attention and I took on a polite smile. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Mr. Abernathy wants to see you in his office."

I immediately tensed. Besides my family—and disappointingly, Madge—he knew of my troubles at home.

She wrote me a hall pass and sent me on my way.

I'd sneaked a glance at Katniss when I felt her stare and had found her glaring daggers at me, though there was an unmistakable hint of. . . dare I say hopelessness?

No.

When I arrived at his office, the door was already open for me. He knew I was there before I even stepped foot inside.

"Come in, boy," his gruff voice ordered. "Don't forget to shut the door."

I did as told. Folding my hands together to keep them from shaking, I sat in my usual seat in the corner.

"Anything happen recently?"

My intake of breath sounded so broken we both flinched. "I got a rolling pin to the head and shoulder yesterday. . ."

Haymitch's frustrated sigh almost made me wish I couldn't confide in him so he wouldn't have to constantly hear of my torture. "That woman has a lot of nerve,"

I simply nodded in response. The official cause of my visits were to check on my anxiety and depression. The school wasn't aware of what went on in my household. Haymitch had made sure of it upon my request.

"I don't know why you demand on not doing a damn thing about it." He said, his voice full of remorse.

My answer was simple. And unchanged. "I only have to tolerate her until school is over. Then it'll be in the past."

He eyed me carefully. "You're a stupid boy." The slight fondness in his tone told me he didn't mean it harshly.

We sit in a comfortable silence until he clears his throat.

I look up at him expectantly, earning a smirk.

"Your girl has finally taken notice of you," he says.

My heart begins to beat erratically at his words. "What?"

"She's asked about you," He answers slowly, smug because he knows his suspense is killing me. "And Miss Trinket said she mentioned you in an assignment once."

I couldn't believe him.

Haymitch had found out not long after I began having appointments with him that my heart only held a place for his favorite student.

He gave me updates on her—though it was against policy and he could lose his job over it—but it was only because he knew the depth and longevity of my feelings for her.

"She wrote in Effie's class that you were something she couldn't figure out. She had erased it but Miss Trinket still found it." He shakes his head before quietly adding, "She's also wanted to know why I'm your counselor."

I jump at the last part. She could never find out about that. "Haymitch, promise me you won't ever tell her."

He nodded. "I wouldn't, boy. I just thought you'd be interested she asked about you."

Excitement creeps into my chest at the revelation.

Then her question to Haymitch comes flooding back to me. Why would she want to know that? Most importantly, how had she found out that I see Haymitch?

* * *

 **A/N** ~ _Everything has officially been planned out! I'm so excited for this! I absolutely adore this story. Thank you all so much for reading!_

 _Be sure to check out my other stories while I update this one!_

With love, Daisy.


	4. Fire Burns

**Disclaimer** : I do not own _The Hunger Games_.

 **Chapter Four** : _Fire Burns_

 _Katniss_

I glance at my lifeless gray eyes as I brush my hair, quickly averting them to continue counting the smudges on my mirror. Seven. When was the last time I cleaned it? Primrose used to clean it every Friday after school, complaining that it got dirty too often and too easily.

"Katniss!"

I jump, my eyes focusing on the reflection in the mirror rather than the smudges. My grandmother sighs, her eyes sad. She looks down and my eyes wander to her feet, obediently placed outside of my doorframe. Just as I'd told her to do the day I'd moved in.

"Would you like some dinner?" I look back up to her somber eyes and gulp. "Or is now not a good time?"

Setting my brush down, I feel the weight of my long hair that runs along my back and reaches the very bottom of it. Primrose always kept hers a tad longer, but I would never let it grow to that length anymore. That was her length. Her soft, never-tangled, golden hair. I start to choke, and divert my attention to my hair as I sweep it behind me.

"Katniss?"

My cheeks burn as I direct my angry gaze towards her. I raise my eyebrows pointedly at her before walking out of my room.

"I just wasn't sure if you'd heard me," she says lightly. "You always seem to be in your own little word. . ."

I walk into the kitchen and sit down, noting how neatly she had placed everything. She knew very well by now how bad my need was to have everything placed a specific way. If anything that could easily be changed seemed out of place with how my conscious believes it should be, I'd be a nervous wreck. After Primrose, she quickly learned my ticks and how to avoid any episodes.

My grandmother's cautious steps echo from the cold tiles outside my bedroom. I cringe at the fact that I can hear her all the way from the kitchen. I bite my lip as a sudden wave of guilt washes over me when I think of how harsh I can be with her. It certainly isn't my goal, but I could never get over how little she cared for my existence before she lost her only daughter and favorite granddaughter. It was much too late now for her to show me that she cared.

I fixate my stare on the flowers placed in the middle of the dining room table. Lilies. Always lilies.

"So does that mean you'd like dinner?" I snap out of my trance and turn to find my grandmother standing behind the island now. From the looks of her concerned eyes, I begin to wonder how long I'd been staring at the flowers. "I made some chicken salad and brought some cheese buns from the bakery. They were freshly baked and recommended by a nice boy."

My gaze snaps over to what the island holds and find the salad appeared lifeless beside the buns. They appeared plump and uniform, not a single one looked different from the others. The baker certainly chose the right profession. I looked over to my grandmother and the hopeful expression in her eyes softens me a bit. They resemble Primrose's so much. But there was something special about Primrose's, hers had flecks of the icy gray that gave an intimidating touch whenever she happened to get angry.

I look my grandmother in the eyes, strain a smile, and nod. She looks instantly relieved and immediately begins to arrange me a plate. I easily could've served myself, but I know that she finds pleasure in doing things for me. It makes her feel as if I actually think of her as a mother figure. I wonder how that would feel.

My grandmother smiles as she places a large plate in front of me, with two cheese buns at the side. I immediately reach for a bun.

"They do look delicious, I hope you enjoy them."

Her words fade away as I sink my teeth into the heavenly soft bread. The taste of cheese is just so perfect-not too much, not too little-that I actually smile. My grandmother makes a soft hum of delight.

I turn to look at her and find her walking over to the box of remaining two and picking one up, not hesitating to take a bite. Her wide eyes make a funny pair with her surprised gasp. I turn back to my own meal and hide a smile. I know it would make her overjoyed to see me happy, but I still find it hard to be so relaxed in front of her.

My grandmother puts her bun down on her plate and walks over to the fridge. "I'm going to get some water to wash this down with. Do you want something?" She grabs a pitcher of water and brings it over to the table before going to get two glasses from the cupboard.

I eye the water and decide it'd be perfect with meal, I'm too afraid that something flavored would ruin the taste of the cheese buns. She cocks an eyebrow after she serves her glass and I give her a nod. Her eyes look so relieved.

"Do you want water?" I nod and she happily serves me a glass of my own. "It's nice getting to enjoy a nice meal with you."

Her expectant stare pierces through me, but I don't acknowledge her comment. I focus on taking sips of my water before turning my attention the salad. It really does seem so drab alongside the buns. They went well together, though.

After I finished my meal, I quickly downed the rest of my water and turned to my grandmother, who was watching me. "All done?" I give her a curt nod and take my dishes to the sink, washing them in silence as she finished her own.

She ate very slowly, much like my mother used to, and Prim. I, like my father, ate like I wasn't ever going to get another chance to eat in my life.

My heart starts to ache thinking of my family and I feel in danger of crying. "Until tomorrow, Katniss." I give her another nod before I rush off to my room. I don't even change into something more comfortable, I just launch myself onto my bed and squeeze my eyes shut and endlessly hope for sleep to pull me under.

* * *

When my alarm begins to sound, I immediately hit the snooze button. But I'm too awake now to fall back asleep. I roll onto my back and stare up at my ceiling. My eyes find the two little handprints that belong to my little sister, and her name scribbled in a sloppy cursive between them. A tear involuntarily slips from my eyes at the memory.

" _Katniss, what are you doing?" My little sister sighs, exasperated. "We're supposed to be painting our rooms today. Grandma says it's the best day to! She won't give us past tomorrow to do it, you know."_

 _I smile and look at my sweet little sister. Of course she's already done painting her own room._

" _Grandma says we'll feel more at home if we paint it how we like," she says happily._

 _I avert my eyes from her and look over to the few cans at my door. I had yet to look at my options._

" _Come on, Katniss!" she was quite stubborn at ten-years old. "I guess I could help you if you needed me to. . ."_

 _By sundown the next day, my walls were an even rusty-red color, my ceiling and accents a fierce white. I'd joined her half an hour after she began. Only she could motivate me in such a way._

" _We finished, Katniss, we finally finished!" Prim jumped up and down and ran to hug my with splotches of rusty red and white paint all over her. I gladly accepted her embrace._

 _Once we peeled away from each other, I walked over to my forgotten whiteboard on my bed. I picked up my special green marker that I reserved for conversations with Prim._ It's missing something _, I write. I flip it over to face my sister._

 _She frowns, turning around in a full circle before looking at me once again with a frown. "But we finished,"_

 _I smile and shake my head, erasing my board before walking over to the can of black paint and opening it. I motioned for Prim to come over. She did so. I grabbed her hands one at a time and coated them each in the pitch-black paint._

" _Katniss!" She gasped before holding her palms up and gawking at them as I dragged her over to a chair that helped us reach the ceiling. She looked at me in confusion after she stood atop it. I pointed fiercely to the left side of the ceiling. My room had an a-framed room, so my ceiling was slanted, it wasn't a flat surface. She grinned at me as the realization dawned on her._

 _Prim placed her hands a fair distance apart from each other as she delicately laid them on my ceiling. She stuck them on there for a few moments as I dipped a small paintbrush in the black can of paint. When she removed her hands, I handed her the brush and pointed to her._

" _You want me to write my name?" She always understood me better than anyone else, even Gale. I nodded. She grinned before turning back and happily writing her name in cursive, which she'd been practicing nonstop. When she finished, she stepped down and smiled up at me. "You were right, it looks much better now."_

 _I smiled at her and nodded. I walked over to the can of paint myself and dipped my hands in carefully one at a time. Prim moved the chair to the other side of the ceiling opposite-facing the side where she did her own and I climbed up the chair carefully with the help of Prim. I placed my own hands a distance from one another just as she had. When I'm finished, she's ready with a paint brush. I write my own name in an even sloppier cursive than she. I never had the knack for it but she adores it, so I'll do it to match her own._

" _Perfect!" Prim exclaimed as I got down and admired our finishing touches of my room. I grinned as she twirled around my room in glee. There is no one in this world that I could ever love as much as I love her._

* * *

I jolt back to reality as my alarm rings again.

Groaning, I finally get up. It's Friday, but in two weeks on the following Saturday is the homecoming dance. All I've heard about since the posters went up is everyone's excitement about the dance.

I'm sick of it.

Getting up, I begin to take my hair out its braid. At least the weekend is coming up and I won't have to hear about it anymore. Yesterday, someone had the nerve to stop in front of my locker and ask his girlfriend. Neither of their lockers is even in my block of lockers. The disrespect.

Once I get to school, I make my way straight to my locker.

My bag feels unnaturally heavy, so I slow my pace down as I begin to get closer and begin to search in my bag for anything unusual.

"Hey, sugar lips!"

I glance up to see who's being called such a ridiculous name but am shocked to see Clove standing at my locker, a hand in Peeta's face.

My blood boils. What makes her think that she can call me that? I lock eyes with her and march my way up to my locker, an obvious challenge in my eyes.

"Woah, princess, calm down. You're gonna kill me with those daggers," she snorts at her own joke. "I just want to ask you a question."

I glance over at Peeta, the obvious culprit to why she is in my face. He just shrugs, deflated.

"Don't you think that Peeta here," she turns around to squish one of his cheeks. "Should go to homecoming with the _ever lovely_ Glimmer?"

I scowl. That is why she is wasting my time? I shrug past her and go to my locker, beginning to turn the dial to enter my combination.

"Well, that did _not_ work. Then again, I probably shouldn't have asked the first person I saw. Especially since that person was Katniss Everdeen."

My jaw clenches. I've gone four years without losing it with her and her snobby self. I wouldn't be surprised if I finally lose it this last year.

"Stop it, Clove," Peeta sighs. "I am _not_ going with Glimmer! I don't even know if I want to go at all."

"But you have to, it's your senior year!" Clove whines.

Peeta doesn't respond as he begins to open his locker and Clove huffs.

"You're never any fun," she says. Clove stands there for a minute as he digs through his locker, seemingly contemplating something. "Is Cato really letting you go with Marvel?"

Clove stops and l sneak a look at her. She rolls her eyes at Peeta and drapes an arm around his shoulder. "Oh honey, did you really believe that?"

Peeta shrugs her off and scoffs. "You're unbelievable sometimes."

"Come on," Clove says. "You have no idea how bad Glimmer wants to go with you! Whenever you're not around, all she does is talk about how you asked her freshman year and how it's always going to be the most memorable way anyone's been asked and ugh, Peeta, you just have to."

I turn back to them and see that Peeta is looking at me. I look away as quick as I can, but I already know that he saw me. "I'm sorry, Clove. I can't do it." For some reason, those words make me feel relieved. I'd feel terrible if Peeta had to go with someone like Glimmer.

Clove leaves incredibly annoyed and I can tell Peeta is too. He leaves immediately after gathering his things. I watch him walk away. He's seemed stressed lately. Maybe it's about the dance. I haven't heard about him asking anyone this year, and the dance is going to be soon. Maybe he doesn't know who to ask. I think back on the girls he's gone with before. Glimmer, Delly, and Violet. They're all blonde's. That realization hits me hard. But I snap out of it immediately. I'd never date Peeta. I'd never date anyone. The warning bell gets my attention and I find myself running to my first class of the day.

* * *

As soon as the final bell rings, I basically bolt it out of the classroom. Peeta's irate demeanor today really took a toll on me. I'd been so used to him lately. When I reach my locker, I waste no time getting what I need and putting back what I don't. I'm so focused that I don't realize that he's with me until he taps on my shoulder. I'm so caught off guard, I meet his eyes with a scowl.

"Hey," he says. Something seems off. He doesn't look upset anymore, but something is definitely off. "Sorry."

I shrug and close my locker, looking at him expectantly.

"Need a ride home today?" Peeta asks.

My grip on my bag tightens and my brows furrow. He knows I'm perfectly fine with my walks to and from school. I don't live far. I shake my head.

Peeta purses his lips and decide on a different approach. "Okay, well I have something to show you anyway. It's in my car."

I'm very curious, but also suspicious. He never acts like this unless his family is brought up.

"Shall we go?" he asks, holding out a hand in the direction of the student parking lot. I decide to go for it and nod. Peeta smiles as we begin our trek to his car.

Peeta grabs my hand when we get to his car and he drags me to the bed of his truck. He steps onto the bumper and encourages me to do the same with a big smile. I get a good grip and haul myself up. When I peer into the bed, my eyes widen.

Peeta has covered the bed of his truck with a white sheet that has the shadow of a boy and girl dancing with the word _Homecoming?_ painted over it. He's sprinkled silver confetti on it and has a bouquet of red roses in it which he picks up and hands to me. "So?" He asks, his eyes shining.

I'm so overwhelmed that I can barely breathe. The last time someone asked me to homecoming, Gale and I nearly never regained our friendship because he was so hurt at my denial. Does Peeta not know me at all? As much as I feel bad for doing it, I take a huge breath before closing my eyes and quickly shaking my head no. I can feel his disappointment.

"Oh," he begins. "I'm sorry. It's fine, I just-I thought it would be nice to ask because you've never gone and. . ."

My feet are already on the ground by the time he's realized words won't help the situation. I don't write him a message. I just go. Before I even hear him come after me, I hold my hand out so he knows not to follow and take off.

Why would Peeta ask me to go with him? He's in the running to be homecoming king, he needs someone photogenic and peppy at his side to look good in the yearbook with. Not-not someone like me. Glimmer would be perfect.

Never in any of my years at this dumb school have I ever been tempted to go to a single stupid dance. I'm not going to start now just because a boy wants me to go with him. I never went to homecoming or prom with Gale despite his begging, I never went to any of the small dance functions in the winter or spring. Glimmer wants to go with Peeta. Why would Peeta ask me?

I'm driving myself mad by the time I get home. Peeta asked me to go to a dance with him. We're barely even friends. Are we friends? I want to scream. I decide that I can never see him again. Just thinking about the glimpse of hurt I saw on his face makes my stomach churn.

Peeta and I had no reason to ever talk in the first place. He was just being the kind Peeta people always gush about. He probably just asked me out of pity. Did he say that he asked to be nice? Because I've never gone? He probably thinks I'm pathetic, which is pathetic in itself because every boy in school should be intimidated by me. Every boy is.

I'm seething by the time I get home and go straight to my bedroom. Who does Peeta Mellark think he is? I'm not some charity case he wants to take to the dance to be nice.

I've never needed him and he doesn't need to stay. He shouldn't have forced himself in in the first place. I don't need anyone. Except maybe Gale. I decide that I won't allow Peeta Mellark to be in my life anymore.

* * *

 **A/N** ~ _Long time no see my friends! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I can only hope that you guys are alright with this type of comeback. . . I swear I didn't mean to end on such a sour note! Hopefully our two star-crossed lovers can find their way to back to each other soon. We all know how stubborn our Katniss is. Ever the lovely protagonist. Any who! My next update should be in the next two weeks so keep your eyes peeled and your email at the ready! Oh yeah, go ahead and follow this story while you're at it so you know when I'm back at it! Okay?! Yeah, no? Okay. I'll go now. . . Until next time, check out my new story (;_

With love, Daisy


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